"Crippled like your Economy"

Sunday night i sprained my ankle. i was attempting to return to some girl her ATM card, and instead tripped, fell into her, and shattered my theory that i was, in fact, so awesome that i was invincible. The woman (her name was Sarah) and my good buddy, Mary, both asked me if i wanted to go to the hospital, but i abstained courteously because i am just simply too manly. i mean, c'mon, i have a beard!

After i got back to my dorm, three more people asked me if i wanted to go to the hospital, and i submitted. i called up my heterosexy friend, Nick Elmer, and asked him to come with me on an adventure to the hospital. We ate Milanos and talked to the guard on duty... for two hours.

But this is not the point which i wish to convey, only the backdrop. Although, i do want to take the time to say that Nick Elmer is really, really, really cool, sexy, friendly, funny, and loyal. i love him. BUT MOVING ON: i got my foot/ankle area wrapped up, and was given a handy, dandy set of crutches. i have been using them to get around campus for the past few days. One thing i noticed was that just about every... oh tenth person or so, upon seeing the crutches, asked me what had happened, if i was alright, etc. Then they gave me advice like "don't walk on it for a while!" or "make sure you ice it too." This advice, although well intentioned, was completely unneeded.

Today i stopped using the crutches, starting after i got back from class. i get enough support on my ankle from some sort of plastic/goo cast which i obtained on Monday. i can get by without the crutches... although i do walk kinda funny. But here is something that i noticed: people don't ask questions any more. i am still visibly unwell (i walk like a speedy zombie!), but now people don't know if it is a temporary injury or a permanent one. Perhaps i was born like this? Maybe i was in a tragic accident? But now you don't want to know. What is it about the crutches that makes you comfortable with asking me about my personal life?

"Brand Name Loyalty!"

This is an article which i wrote for The Collegian. This is the uncut version. Unfortunately, i have a tendency to go over my word limit by a bit, so this article was not published in its entirety. Oh well.

"Lou (my editor, whom I love very, very much) and I were talking about how music seems so skull crushingly diverse. It isn’t really out of the ordinary to hear of a band that is “deathmetalcore with a prog/jazz fusion twist” or something to that effect. He told me to write an article about it, and I decided to use our discussion as the introduction for this article because I am a horrible writer. So, what exactly IS the deal with modern music, the radio, and (maybe) God?
The answer: generic labels (i.e.- rock, indie, punk, emo) are really just terms that give a basic idea of what music sounds like. These terms are flawed, but that’s because each individual band has unique ideas. Lou talked about how this was especially true for modern music, but in my mind this diversity has existed since the dawn of rock and/or roll. The difference is that, when it comes to history, people like to simplify the details. Ask any American about the Revolutionary War, and they will talk about how America stood up to England for the sake of freedom, but they will most likely leave out how the Founding Fathers didn’t really care about the rights of women, blacks, and the lower class in general. The same lack of attention to detail applies to music. Let us consider the “grunge” movement from the early 90s. If I had to pick the three biggest bands of that movement, I would have to go with Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden. They’re all grunge, right? Well, then why is it that Nirvana sounds like a punk band, Pearl Jam sounds like a rock n’ roll band, and Soundgarden sounds like a metal band? Oversimplification. Lets go a step further with this: Nirvana sounds sorta like punk to me. The three biggest punk bands of the 70s would have to be the Ramones, the Clash, and the Sex Pistols. The Ramones were secretly trying to be the Bay City Rollers, the Clash had a huge jones for the revolutionary dub sounds coming from across the globe, and the Sex Pistols… well, they were designed to make money for Malcolm McLaren.
Simple genre classifications, in my mind, are designed to make things more easily understood and, therefore, more marketable. You like emo? Well then you will probably like Jimmy Eat World, My Chemical Romance, and Bright Eyes. These three bands sound absolutely nothing like each other. Jimmy Eat World has a pop rock sheen, My Chemical Romance sucks, and Conor Oberst is more Bob Dylan/Jackson Browne than Jeremy Enigk/Geoff Rickley. BUT it is possible to connect them together by the emotional content of their music, and thus a marketing trend can be made. A mass media medium like radio would indulge in these simple labels. Bands will get lumped together, and money will be made. But we are more sensitive to the music being made now rather than in the past, because we are directly experiencing it, not just getting it second or third hand like on a VH1 “I Love The [Insert Decade Here]s!” special.
Ultimately, defining music with words is pointless. It is best to just simply play a band of interest for people, and see what they think of the music. The emphasis should be placed on each individual band, and not just be a fan of certain genres. Like I said before, genres are vague and rarely do bands justice. At the other extreme is the “deathmetalcore with a prog/jazz fusion twist” band. They’re being way too descriptive.
As for God’s role in all of this, I am convinced that Jesus would be a folk singer like Bob Dylan, but once he plugged in he would rock out like a super pissed off Ted Leo/Elvis Costello type, so you better not mess with him"

"...and then I kissed her."

Right now I’m listening to some of my parent’s old Beach Boy records. The album that is playing right now is called All Summer Long. It’s a Capitol Re-issue. I know this because it says that on the album cover (!!!). I really enjoy listening to the Beach Boys. The numerous layers of vocals are simply amazing. But what really does it for me is the language, the lyrical content. Some of the language that the band uses is fairly out of date, what with words like “rad” and “groovy.”

The lyrics to Beach Boys songs are unquestionably rooted in idealistic Californian teenage innocence. Their songs were about fast rides, surfing under the bright sun, and beautiful golden girls (and the pursuit thereof). My appreciation for these lyrics is two-fold. First of all, I enjoy the lyrics because they sing of a better and more innocent time, which is appealing to someone such as myself, who has an affinity for sarcasm, moroseness, and pessimism. As apt as I am at putting a negative spin on things, I am also not without proneness towards a desire for happiness. The Beach Boys present such a joy to me, and they do so without the excessive sugary pop which has come to dominate radio and television in my lifetime. But this is just one half of my appreciation for the band.

When one thinks of the Beach Boys, they should most likely also think of the head of the group, Brian Wilson. Brian is/was at the heart of the group, and it was his imagination that created such gems as Pet Sounds and, more recently Smile. Brian represents that beautiful teenage ideal which I mentioned earlier, which is intriguing to me. I say this because Brian couldn’t surf, didn’t meet many girls, was actually a horribly insecure person, and dropped a ridiculous amount of acid in order to conceive of an unrealistic idea of summer: one in which everyone and everything is more beautiful than anything experienced before and, most likely, after this one specific moment in time, this one wild American summer. Brian Wilson is essentially an imposter, he doesn’t belong. Musicians are well known for creating personas for their audience, but it’s just so they can seem more interesting. Brian is covering himself up. He is protecting his weaknesses here. I find that sad, and sadness is always intriguing to other people.

Oh, and the Beach Boys have this song about how hot the girls in Utah are. It’s called “Salt Lake City.” I have no idea why they wrote it, but that’s ok by me.

Beach Boys - "Then I Kissed Her"

"i'll be the death of America"

i shut down my xanga site today. i kinda fell into having one back in the year 2003... it quickly became a way for me to vent my frustrations about work, family life, friends, sex, drugs, music, what have you. But way too many people that i actually know read the damn thing now. Shit, my sister's friends read it. i even had a bunch of random 15 year old girls who subscribed to it(because i do so well with the Hot Topic crowd). i was starting to feel like a pedophile. It makes it hard to write anything other than a basic log of all of the good things that happened during a certain span of time. i had planned to use it as a forum for lyrics and essays which i had written, but that always ended up falling by the wayside for one reason or another.

One wonders why i didn't just keep a journal the old way: in a book. The answer: there is something gratifying about having one's life analyzed (and approved) by people who live outside one's own life. BUT there are certain guidelines: it has to be people of a similar mindset and age (at least for me). It has to feel like these are people that you could possibly hang out with in real life. In short, they're exactly like your friends in real life, but they can't judge you like your real friends can. They don't see the character flaws, the moments of weakness. It is practically voyeurism (minus the nudity part, which i guess does kinda take away the meaning of the word, but still...), and i (along with all of the people on xanga, livejournal, myspace, facebook, etc.) do so enjoy voyeurism. Anyone who says they only do it because they are "bored" is a filthy fucking liar. It is so addicting to just breath in other people's lives. i think that this is easily one of the top ten reasons why i stopped watching television. Who needs "reality tv" when i can experience this? But when people that you actually do know begin to tap into the experience, it becomes... hampered, embarrassing. Its like being caught masturbating, or something similar.

This begs the question, "Well, why the fuck did you just sign up for a blog like maybe five (5) or six (6) hours after deleting your xanga?!" The answer: this is going to be an outlet for stupid and/or inane comments. Also, i am hopelessly addicted to blogging. i can't help it. The internet has replaced television as my ultimate time waster. i don't even own a television in my dorm. Of course, my roomie has one, but i don't use it... or really hang out in the dorm all that much. But i'm getting off topic...This will be a harmless outlet for discussion of pop culture, cancer, love, whatever.

Joe Jackson - "Got the Time"