"Atlantic City

“Christ, its cold out. This kind of weather makes me hate Norristown even more. Norristown is exactly like Philadelphia, only without an art district, entertainment complexes, or any other sort of thing that would redeem the area’s existence.

I lost my job at the Times Herald yesterday. They said they needed to cut back on distribution, on account of the rising gas prices. No more delivering the paper.

I have no job, I hate this town, and it’s freezing.

Jenny doesn’t even bother to make eye contact with me these days, not that I blame her. She pretty much knows we’re in it now. I don’t think she hates me for being me; she hates me for not being someone else, if that makes any sense. She walks slowly, but not sluggishly, around the kitchen. She pours herself some coffee into that mug of hers, the one with Jesus on it. She never goes to mass, but she always has a cross around her neck. I wish she would come with me to church, just once. They have a new priest-in-training, and Father lets him say the masses. He used to be in the Marines. Everyone knew that part about him before he told us. You could just tell by the way he walked, which words he chose to emphasize when he spoke, the look in his eyes when he spoke at all. The man was crazy, and all he could do was go on and on about the Old Testament. You know, the one where God hates everyone and everything. The one where he smites us by making us live. This new guy is making me hate God.

The bills! I forgot to mail the payment for the utilities! Geez, they were already like two weeks late. My head has just been so gone; I can’t focus. So many problems have just popped up at once.

I forgot to pay the bills, I hate the Roman Catholic Church, I can’t connect with my girlfriend, I have no job, I hate this town, and it is fucking freezing.

We need to get out. We need to go somewhere far. Coast City is pretty cheap… Maybe we should go visit Jen’s parents out in Bergen County… wait, no. Fuck no; she hates them. I know that. Why didn’t I know that?

But Jersey does sound like a good idea. We need to get out of here, out of Pennsylvania. We need to go somewhere bright and vibrant.

I remember when I was a kid, my parents used to always go to Atlantic City. That place was so grand and alive. Beautiful people watching beautiful people toss away chips and sip their drinks. I haven’t a drink is a month now. Yeah, we should go. Atlantic City isn’t too far. We could both use some fun in our lives. Besides, I want to be gone when the paper realizes that I took some money. Oh, the phone…

…that was Johnny. He says somebody nailed the “Chicken Man.” He thought he was hot shit, and now he’s blown to exactly that.

Johnny is kind of a weird guy. He used to give me extra tips whenever I stopped by his office building with the paper. He says us Italians need to stick together, whatever that means. I’m an American, man. So were my father and his father. I’m sick of all this race bullshit. Skin color doesn’t matter, because I get discriminated against because of my wealth, not my race. Besides, what’s so great about being Italian? The last time we were important, we were tossing Christians to lions.

So Johnny wants to know if I would be willing to a “little favor for him.” Guy is real shady, but he kept talking about how much he was gonna pay me… shit, he is going to give me a lot of money for whatever it is he wants done. I could pay off all of the bills, maybe take Jenny out a couple times. Shit, we could maybe even be a romantic couple again.

Jenny seems interested in going to Atlantic City. She smiled at the idea, at least. I missed that. I miss feeling like we’re soul mates and that we could have kids together, maybe even grow old and die together. To die with the woman you love… seems rather romantic.

The folks at the paper definitely know about the mone.

Jenny looks so good in those stockings. Some women just are meant to dress beautifully, and Jenny is one of those women. She could live somewhere really fancy if she wanted to, maybe out in Ambler or something… but she stays with me. Some people are just too stubborn to leave. God, I love her for that.

We are going to be the two most beautiful people in Atlantic City. We are gonna drink, and we are gonna dance. Heh, Jenny is gonna wear her hair up, maybe style it a little bit. We’ll find a cheap motel and get changed into someone else. We’ll become beautiful, happy people. We’ll be happy. Happy. Haha.

Here she comes, and she is divine. I don’t care about the bills or the Roman Catholic Church, I love my girlfriend, I have a job to do, I’ve already forgotten this town, and the weather doesn’t matter. Right now, I don’t care about money or death. Everything dies, that’s a fact. But maybe everything someday comes back.”